My Best Friend, Rock

When I was four years old I had pet rocks. My mom and I lived together in a small low-income apartment in Ogden, Utah, and we weren't allowed to have normal pets like a dog or a guinea pig. There was no particular reason why I chose rocks instead of some other free or cheap…

Going To The OBGYN Is A Lot Like Trying On Shoes Only Not At All

I sat in the pink gown with the scratchy paper draped over my lap waiting for the doctor to come in to give me my yearly checkup. My husband, Francesco sat awkwardly in the corner repeating, "200 dollars?" He was shell shocked that we had forgotten our insurance cards and were forced to pay for…

Dog Park People And Observations: Our Savior The Dog And Aquanet Addiction

I've spent a lot of time at dog parks. Back in college I fostered dogs for a group that took adoptable dogs from high-kill shelters. Often, my fosters were labs or pitbulls, breeds that require a lot of exercise to be happy and healthy. Dog parks are a great place to socialize dogs while they…

10 Things That I’ve Learned About Arizona

1. It's hot. Yet, white people from all over the US flock here, and then complain about the heat. 2. Pretty much everything here can kill you. Scorpions, black widows, killer bees, snakes, rednecks with guns, hungry fat girls... 3. Phoenix is actually fun and surprisingly diverse despite the staggering violations on human rights that…

Devil Insects, Emergency Death Storms, And Allergies: Welcome To Arizona.

Two months ago my husband found a job in Phoenix at an engineering firm that designs and manufactures audio systems. Arizona has never been on my list of places to live, or visit. Coming from downtown SLC, and Florence, Italy, the last place I wanted to end up was a sprawling desert. I'm too accustomed…

Stuff My Mom Says That I Wish She Wouldn’t

I went to Petco with my mom the other day to get some dog food for my poodle. I weaved through the aisles with her behind me when I heard: "My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack, heeeeey." In my mother's voice. I spun around. "Have you heard that song?" She asked.…