This is What it’s Like to be Pregnant and Afraid

For the first few hours after I found out that I was pregnant, I was super excited. We'd been trying for months and had just started talking with the doctor about fertility help. After all, I'm no spring chicken and there was all that vodka in my twenties and who knows what I'd managed to…

Depression Thoughts: I’ve Got the Blues

I've been pretty good for months now but last week was rough. Last week, I caught feelings and they weren't fucking good. One day I felt fine, the next I felt like a storm cloud that got gangbanged by the Cure. I had no energy, I got all weepy, and sad and empty and...depressed? My…

I Could Outrun A Tiger: Panic And Anxiety

Sometimes, my brain is a real asshole and seems to hate me. I've had anxious episodes a few times in my life. I suffer from low-grade depression, not always, but often. I've had a few panic attacks throughout my life. Lately, it's been bad. About four months ago I went out for drinks with colleagues…