A Funny Blog About Terrible Things
I had to temporarily step away from blogging for a minute. Mainly because my toddler stopped napping for two weeks and has been secretly flushing toys down our toilet and the toilet exploded and rained crap water from the top floor and through a light fixture to the bottom floor. It was...so shitty (ha ha!).…
I was listening to Armchair Expert the other morning while getting ready and at one point had to put down my mascara to replay a section nine-thousand times because I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen. The episode covered racism, internalized misogyny, fear, politics, self-awareness, drugs, public masturbation, and comedy (it's really good, check…
Continue reading ➞ Figuring it Out Post-Breakdown, Post-Therapy, Postpartum
This week my son turned one while I’m still over here like “wow, I can’t believe I have a kid.” Because despite carrying him and birthing him and spending 24/7 with him that shit still blows my mind. It’s insane. And me being in charge of another human’s life just proves that the universe is…
Continue reading ➞ My First Year of Momhood: Moms are Like Al Pacino in Yoga Pants
The other day I met my cousin in a cafe to go over some edits we needed to make to a screenplay we wrote together. I asked her about her relationship and life and next thing you know she was basically summarizing (accidentally) all of the hard things I’ve been thinking and feeling lately. I’ve…
If you're at all familiar with my travel blog, Surviving in Italy, you might be familiar with the work of my wedding photographer, Alix. She has a very natural, journalistic style and so when it came time to do maternity pics I knew that she was the best fit for us because I'm not great…
I feel like I'm losing my mind. This time it's not in an "I'm having a nervous breakdown, please rush me to my therapist," kind of way, it's more like my brain has been removed and all that's left in my skull is a party of lunatics. I'd like to blame it on the fact…
As of today, I'm 19 weeks pregnant and my husband is nesting by drinking like a frat boy and buying things that will "make cleaning easier once the baby arrives." He bought a steam mop, which I thought was dumb because it's basically like a Swiffer which we already have. But, I have to admit…
So, let's start off by announcing that I'm pregnant (and terrified! Have you seen the birthing videos?!). How did this happen? Mostly sex. Was it on purpose? It wasn't not on purpose but was still a surprise. A few months ago, I was sitting in a restaurant in Brooklyn with my longtime best friend talking…
Daily, my husband and I have at least one argument about his inability to find stuff. Usually, he wanders through the house as though he's never been there before, eyes wide, scratching his head, yelling, "Babe! BABE!" It's about this time that I decide to take a shower or walk the dog or pretend to…
Continue reading ➞ Fighting with My Husband About Finding Shit
In my last blog post, Just Stare Into My Vagina and Tell Me It Will Be Okay, I wrote about how scared I am to have a baby. Or, how scared I am to try to have a baby, since I'm not actually pregnant, yet. As of then I couldn't find an OBGYN, with higher ratings than…
Continue reading ➞ Trying To Conceive: An OBGYN I’d Probably Marry
