I’m Not Sorry My Toddler Acts Like a Toddler, Thank You Very Much

This isn't a real post, more of a passing observation. I've noticed over the past year that I'm doing that thing that many first time parents do: Expecting way too much from my two year old. As the oldest of ninety-thousand kids, I absolutely hated this growing up. At five I was practically expected to…

The Great Flood

I had to temporarily step away from blogging for a minute. Mainly because my toddler stopped napping for two weeks and has been secretly flushing toys down our toilet and the toilet exploded and rained crap water from the top floor and through a light fixture to the bottom floor. It was...so shitty (ha ha!).…

Figuring it Out Post-Breakdown, Post-Therapy, Postpartum

I was listening to Armchair Expert the other morning while getting ready and at one point had to put down my mascara to replay a section nine-thousand times because I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen. The episode covered racism, internalized misogyny, fear, politics, self-awareness, drugs, public masturbation, and comedy (it's really good, check…

My First Year of Momhood: Moms are Like Al Pacino in Yoga Pants

This week my son turned one while I’m still over here like “wow, I can’t believe I have a kid.” Because despite carrying him and birthing him and spending 24/7 with him that shit still blows my mind. It’s insane. And me being in charge of another human’s life just proves that the universe is…

What to do When Love Cannot Conquer All

The other day I met my cousin in a cafe to go over some edits we needed to make to a screenplay we wrote together. I asked her about her relationship and life and next thing you know she was basically summarizing (accidentally) all of the hard things I’ve been thinking and feeling lately. I’ve…

My Husband Doesn’t Understand Robots

As of today, I'm 19 weeks pregnant and my husband is nesting by drinking like a frat boy and buying things that will "make cleaning easier once the baby arrives." He bought a steam mop, which I thought was dumb because it's basically like a Swiffer which we already have. But, I have to admit…

Fighting with My Husband About Finding Shit

Daily, my husband and I have at least one argument about his inability to find stuff. Usually, he wanders through the house as though he's never been there before, eyes wide, scratching his head, yelling, "Babe! BABE!" It's about this time that I decide to take a shower or walk the dog or pretend to…