Jesus Christ, Nancy: Parenting and Trolls

When I found out I was pregnant, I panicked and ran out to buy a billion books on parenting and pregnancy. I'm a reader. A nerd who researches everything. Mostly because I realized a long time ago that I mostly lack common sense and need ideas on how to function as a basic adult in…

The Great Flood

I had to temporarily step away from blogging for a minute. Mainly because my toddler stopped napping for two weeks and has been secretly flushing toys down our toilet and the toilet exploded and rained crap water from the top floor and through a light fixture to the bottom floor. It was...so shitty (ha ha!).…

I’m Being Stalked By A Tiny Sadist

I was sitting in the living room today, listening to Dolly Parton's Christmas album (DOLLY PARTON FOREVER) when my son came running around the corner waving a paper punch in the air. He stopped dead in his tracks about two feet from me, looked into my face with wild eyes and said, "HOLE IN NOSE!", then launched himself at my head like a Facesucker alien trying to get the office tool around my nostril.

How Bartending Prepared Me For Motherhood

A few years ago, I was stretched out on a lawn chair next to my sister’s pool when she plopped down next to me, yelled at her kids to stop getting water everywhere, and casually asked, “So are you guys going to have kids?” Already in my mid-thirties, I’d learned that this question was the…

Figuring it Out Post-Breakdown, Post-Therapy, Postpartum

I was listening to Armchair Expert the other morning while getting ready and at one point had to put down my mascara to replay a section nine-thousand times because I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen. The episode covered racism, internalized misogyny, fear, politics, self-awareness, drugs, public masturbation, and comedy (it's really good, check…

You’re Gonna Be Great! E2: Talking With Your Kids About Anxiety and Isolation

Hey everyone! So as you might have read on my last post, I launched a very random podcast mini-series about self-care in the time of COVID-19. I had questions I wanted answered and I wanted to help others if I could, so viola. I'm no podcast master (shocking, I know) but I think the information…