This is What it’s Like to be Pregnant and Afraid

For the first few hours after I found out that I was pregnant, I was super excited. We'd been trying for months and had just started talking with the doctor about fertility help. After all, I'm no spring chicken and there was all that vodka in my twenties and who knows what I'd managed to…

Dear Baby, Change the World. No Pressure.

I exist with a lot of guilt about the world and I have ever since I slid out of my mamma's lady garden. I had empathy for rocks, I talked with trees, and I obsessed over animals like no other kid, ever. The older I got, the more I read about our environment, pollution, the…

It’s Just Your Bones Breaking (NBD)

Today I had my 24-week appointment with my OBGYN, or more specifically, the PA that works at the women's clinic. She's a charming and warm woman who somehow remembers everything you ever tell her about yourself and makes every part of pregnancy seem magical without making it seem like candy-coated bullshit. We go to the…

Weird Things People Say to Pregnant Women

Ever since I announced my pregnancy, I've noticed the same comments come up over and over again. Some of them good-natured and fun and others that seem super weird. Pregnancy and children are a thing that people get really opinionated about really fast so it's been interesting, fun, weird, and sometimes weirdly offensive. "WHAT ARE…

22 Weeks Pregnant: Feels Like Forever

I'm about 22 weeks pregnant and because I found out so early (two weeks), it feels like I've been pregnant for exactly 22 years. It doesn't help that I've literally had almost every possible pregnancy symptom ever documented: Sore hips, restless legs, all day indigestion, all day nausea, insomnia, anxiety, RAGE, and my boobs are…

My Husband Doesn’t Understand Robots

As of today, I'm 19 weeks pregnant and my husband is nesting by drinking like a frat boy and buying things that will "make cleaning easier once the baby arrives." He bought a steam mop, which I thought was dumb because it's basically like a Swiffer which we already have. But, I have to admit…