Stories
Follow along for some unhinged ranting about writing, life-ing, and things that I am reading or hyper focusing on at the moment. Could be a book series or Orcas, your guess is as good as mine.
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10 Messages From My Dad: Have You Been Eaten By A Shark?
My dad hasn’t always been a family man. But, in his old age, he’s come to like the idea of being around his kids more than ever. If I don’t call him for a while, he’ll get offended and pretend like he doesn’t know me when he answers the phone. “Oh, I’m sorry, do I…
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Don’t Eat That: Sidewalk Foraging Gone Wrong
When urban foraging for chestnuts goes terribly wrong.
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He Shit The Bed
If our poodle, Oliver, was a human child, he’d be the one with the big bottle glasses, standing in the lunch line listing off his allergies to the exhausted lunch ladies. He’s adorable. But, his hair is tangled even though we brush it and take him to the groomer, he kind of smells like pee…
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I’d Like to Pay for That Coffee (and never have it)
My Tuesdays are hectic, mainly because they’re actually my Mondays. I find myself waking up and wandering around my house aimlessly for the first twenty minutes that I’m mobile. My dog, Oliver, yawns from the couch and watches me pass by one, two, three, four times before he finally realizes that I’ve lost my goddamn…
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My Ovaries Are Too Old, According To My Dad
“You know that when old people have kids, their kids are retarded,” my father said while dicing vegetables. My husband shot me an angry glance, my blood boiled, my father chewed on a carrot. “So, when exactly are you having children,” he continued while reaching for a cucumber. “DAD!” I groaned and tried to tune…
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m.e. evans 