Trying To Conceive: An OBGYN I’d Probably Marry

In my last blog post, Just Stare Into My Vagina and Tell Me It Will Be Okay, I wrote about how scared I am to have a baby. Or, how scared I am to try to have a baby, since I’m not actually pregnant, yet. As of then I couldn’t find an OBGYN, with higher ratings than a dominos pizza, that was in-network.

Well, cue the trumpets, I found someone. Two people, actually, and I want both of them to be my best friends. Best friends who have both been elbows deep into my birth canal.

I’m one of those weirdos who Googles everything. Especially healthcare providers and anyone who could potentially kill me or maim me but also pretty much anything because I have entirely too much time on my hands and am addicted to unlimited information. Like six months ago I stumbled on this one OBGYN that has like the highest rating in the state and I was like, I NEED HER. But she was out of network. Well, I checked again recently and she was IN NETWORK! So I made the appointment and was more excited than I’ve ever been to have my cervix aggressively raked. Usually my lady exams are super weird so I’ve written about them way more than a normal person would. Do normal people write about their vagina exams? I don’t know. Anyway.

At the appointment, I was shown to a chair and told to wait for the doctor. After five minutes or so she came flying in, apologized for being late, and proceeded to ask me a zillion questions. But, not in a normal doctor way.

” Do you drink?”

“Yes, wine”

“GOOD! Good for you! And you can continue to do that until your pregnancy test says you’re pregnant. However, that doesn’t mean you can put the test off for eight months.”

Throughout my appointment she was informative and funny. She made jokes about dressing up as a vagina for Halloween. During my pap smear she impersonated Trump, “No, really, nobody respects women more than I do.”

When I told her I was pro-choice she high-fived me and told me I was incredibly badass and responsible. I live in Utah where like 98% of the doctors are Mormon and super republican. And while I have many friends and family who are both of those things, I am neither. And I was pretty excited about having a doctor who I didn’t feel like I had to pretend for. I also really liked her because when I told her about my experience with an Italian gynecologist she said, “That’s horrifying. Do you know how many women are sexually assaulted? That would be traumatic.” She also explained absolutely everything that she was doing, why she was doing it, and gave me a forty minute explanation of why they do a pap smear (cervical cancer screening, caused by the HPV virus). Seriously, it was the most thorough, thoughtful, kind, and hilarious appointment I’d ever had. She’s exactly who I’d want by my side while I pushed a giant baby out of my lady garden.

However. I’d just discovered, the day before, that while she is in my network, the clinic she works in, is not. Therefore, she couldn’t be my OBGYN without my having to shell out a lot of money for the out of network stuff. Sigh. I told her all of this and she listened and said, “Oh, don’t you worry! I’ve got you! One of my best friends is an OBGYN in your network! You’ll love her. She’s super progressive and funny!”


I haven’t met her yet but I have talked with her nurse a few times on the phone and she is amazing. When I told her who referred me she laughed, “Oh, she’s awesome. Yeah, her and Dr. So and So are like best friends. You’re going to love her, she’s so great.” So, I’m actually excited about my doctor now. Sounds super trivial for most of you, I know, but for me it’s a huge relief. Which is good because I can’t be over here chugging entire bottles of wine.

I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh my God what am I doing?


7 thoughts on “Trying To Conceive: An OBGYN I’d Probably Marry

  1. I’m SO glad you found someone(s) you love! The whole process is scary enough (because tiny person having dominion over you both) without the added stress of being unsure of your care. I’m sure she’ll be great, you’ll be great, Francesco will be great…enjoy the process!

  2. I think it’s awesome that you found one 🙂 Finding the right OBGYN isn’t like finding a dentist, and if you’re already sort of unsure about the whole baby-coming-out-of-you scenario (which I totally am), why not have an awesome doctor to help you make it happen. I’m currently living in Italy, and I feel like there’s NO WAY I’ll ever find a good OBGYN. So props to you!

    1. Marie, I had the hardest time in Italy with the entire Doctor scenario. Interesting enough, my doctor was named Marie Therese. Haha. On the upside, Italy has an incredible birth record. They have less complications than we do here, which I find really interesting. Especially because when I went to the OBGYN it was ghetto af. However, I just went for an annual, I’m sure if you’re pregnant it’s much different. How far along are you? Tell me everything! Lol

      1. I didn’t know that about the birth record…but I can see that. The hospitals here are definitely not as spic and span and ocd about gloves, etc. as the US ones, but they seem to be more human in their approach…if that makes any sense? I’m not pregnant (lol), but the OBGYN appointments here are still pretty mortifying for all the obvious reasons..

      2. I could not go to the OBGYN there again. It was soooooo weird. The doctor seemed terrified of vaginas and I felt like it was really cold. They didn’t seem to care at all about anything. But! I wasn’t pregnant and I’m sure it’s way different if you are.

      3. Yeah, you definitely nailed it: not a very caring environment.But let’s hope it’s better for the preggo’s out there : /

  3. The truth is no one knows what they are doing, it’s a giant leap of faith, nature just kinda takes over and does the work as for the rest we stumble through…

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