Naps, Vampires, and the End of the World

When I became a mom, I didn't know what my life would look like but I knew this: I had to find a way to still be creative so that I could stay me and feel full as a person outside of a mom. I think that when we become parents it's easy to find…

How to Tackle the Holidays in a Mixed-Culture Family

Hello, hi, ciao, salam! Holy shit, folks, it's December and in my insane multicultural family we have about a thousand traditions. And this year, now that we have a toddler, I'm trying to nail down which ones we keep and which ones we don't and find a balance between "chill and relaxing with hot cocoa"…

Why Gender Reveal Parties Should Be Laid to Rest For Boozy “It’s a Human Party” Instead

Our "It's A Human" Party invitations three years ago. Look, I get that it's an unpopular opinion, folks. But I think gender reveal parties are the worst. Now, I don't think that people who have them are the worst, because I'm a mom, I get it, and the last thing we need as parents is…

I’m Being Stalked By A Tiny Sadist

I was sitting in the living room today, listening to Dolly Parton's Christmas album (DOLLY PARTON FOREVER) when my son came running around the corner waving a paper punch in the air. He stopped dead in his tracks about two feet from me, looked into my face with wild eyes and said, "HOLE IN NOSE!", then launched himself at my head like a Facesucker alien trying to get the office tool around my nostril.

How Bartending Prepared Me For Motherhood

A few years ago, I was stretched out on a lawn chair next to my sister’s pool when she plopped down next to me, yelled at her kids to stop getting water everywhere, and casually asked, “So are you guys going to have kids?” Already in my mid-thirties, I’d learned that this question was the…