Jesus Christ, Nancy: Parenting and Trolls

When I found out I was pregnant, I panicked and ran out to buy a billion books on parenting and pregnancy. I'm a reader. A nerd who researches everything. Mostly because I realized a long time ago that I mostly lack common sense and need ideas on how to function as a basic adult in…

How To Write A Book (Or Tackle Any Daunting Goal) When You Have Absolutely No Free Time

I wrote an Instagram post about my writing process because I've been doing some new and scary things (writing fiction for the first time alongside my second memoir), not because I'm an expert because holy shit I’m not (just look at all of the mistakes in this post, by the end you’ll be like holy…

How to Tackle the Holidays in a Mixed-Culture Family

Hello, hi, ciao, salam! Holy shit, folks, it's December and in my insane multicultural family we have about a thousand traditions. And this year, now that we have a toddler, I'm trying to nail down which ones we keep and which ones we don't and find a balance between "chill and relaxing with hot cocoa"…

Why Gender Reveal Parties Should Be Laid to Rest For Boozy “It’s a Human Party” Instead

Our "It's A Human" Party invitations three years ago. Look, I get that it's an unpopular opinion, folks. But I think gender reveal parties are the worst. Now, I don't think that people who have them are the worst, because I'm a mom, I get it, and the last thing we need as parents is…

I’m Being Stalked By A Tiny Sadist

I was sitting in the living room today, listening to Dolly Parton's Christmas album (DOLLY PARTON FOREVER) when my son came running around the corner waving a paper punch in the air. He stopped dead in his tracks about two feet from me, looked into my face with wild eyes and said, "HOLE IN NOSE!", then launched himself at my head like a Facesucker alien trying to get the office tool around my nostril.