Out of nowhere my toddler looks over and was like, "Your hair is gross." And then goes, "Wash your boobs." First of all, tot, you literally tried to lick the dogs butt today so I'd be careful about calling people gross. Glass house, kid, glass house.
Humor
Naps, Vampires, and the End of the World
When I became a mom, I didn't know what my life would look like but I knew this: I had to find a way to still be creative so that I could stay me and feel full as a person outside of a mom. I think that when we become parents it's easy to find…
How to Tackle the Holidays in a Mixed-Culture Family
Hello, hi, ciao, salam! Holy shit, folks, it's December and in my insane multicultural family we have about a thousand traditions. And this year, now that we have a toddler, I'm trying to nail down which ones we keep and which ones we don't and find a balance between "chill and relaxing with hot cocoa"…
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Why Gender Reveal Parties Should Be Laid to Rest For Boozy “It’s a Human Party” Instead
Our "It's A Human" Party invitations three years ago. Look, I get that it's an unpopular opinion, folks. But I think gender reveal parties are the worst. Now, I don't think that people who have them are the worst, because I'm a mom, I get it, and the last thing we need as parents is…
I’m Being Stalked By A Tiny Sadist
I was sitting in the living room today, listening to Dolly Parton's Christmas album (DOLLY PARTON FOREVER) when my son came running around the corner waving a paper punch in the air. He stopped dead in his tracks about two feet from me, looked into my face with wild eyes and said, "HOLE IN NOSE!", then launched himself at my head like a Facesucker alien trying to get the office tool around my nostril.
On Being An “Old” Mom
It’s one of those gray windy days. The leaves are falling and rustling as they make their way across our front yard and into the neighbor’s driveway. It’s the perfect weather for writing (or reading), cozied up with a sweater, a warm cup of something, and a comfortable chair. Or in my case, a floor-length…
It Happened And It Was Horrible
Buckle up, it's about to get gross. Yesterday I noticed that Leo was acting a little more defiant than usual, being a little more fussy than usual, and he had more dirty diapers than usual. But "usual" with a toddler is a stretch so I just shrugged it off to possibly too much fruit or…
How Bartending Prepared Me For Motherhood
A few years ago, I was stretched out on a lawn chair next to my sister’s pool when she plopped down next to me, yelled at her kids to stop getting water everywhere, and casually asked, “So are you guys going to have kids?” Already in my mid-thirties, I’d learned that this question was the…
Continue reading ➞ How Bartending Prepared Me For Motherhood
What Is Stalking, Though?
Quick question, is it technically stalking if you have no actual interest in someone? Asking for me, honestly, because yesterday I went for a nice walk and then somehow ended up knowing all of the things about some guy I’ve never seen or met and don’t really want to because from what the internet tells…
What a Night, What a Morning
Saturday night we wept a little watching Joe Biden and Kamala Harris walk onto the stage to give their speeches. What a relief, what a win, and wow! A woman of color as vice-president and the first Italian-American first lady! Also, it was extra adorable to have the toddlers in the room chanting Joe Biden!…