Captain’s Log: Covid 19 Social-Distancing Day Three

Captains’s Log

It’s the third day of self-isolation and I am bored. My toddler is bored. My husband won’t stop reading the news and pacing back and forth and anxiously listing off everything we should be worried about from now until we are eighty. I’m a tad worried we didn’t grab enough booze to be locked in the house together for two full weeks. We’re not used to seeing each other this much and also I’m not used to sharing snacks. I hid the potato chips. I am not ashamed.

I have no idea what to do with my little. He’s fifteen months and extremely active. Like “I found meth” active and I have sung The Itsy Bitsy Spider 7,000 times today and taken two walks (away from humans), and played in the grass, and eaten a basket of raspberries, and played with all of the toys, and read his fave books a dozen times, and now what? If you have any ideas on how to entertain a tiny human, please tell me.

I spent the morning Facetiming my dad who is diabetic and high risk. He is refusing to stay home because “the virus is being used by the world government to hide the economic collapse. They want people to stay inside with food so they won’t panic as we transition to the New World Order.” So that’s what I’m dealing with over here, folks. And look, the government sucks and I am positive that they cover shit up all the time (and after watching people stampede the toilet paper aisle of Fresh Market, I really understand it now) but this sounds a little, um, extreme. But it’s hard to argue with my dad because he’s super intelligent and knows it but is also very sensitive and doesn’t know it. Frankly, I don’t care what he believes, I just want him to keep his ass home where he won’t get the New World Order Government Hoax Virus and die. My mom is also high risk because she has ten billion things wrong with her and smokes like a chimney but she’s agoraphobic so I feel like she’s been preparing for this moment her whole life and she is safely locked inside of her smoke-filled cancer bubble.

How Does One Pass The Time?

1-Take a portrait every day and share it on Instagram. If you want to participate, please take one and use the hashtag #nothanksrona and I’ll share it.

2-Write a blog post every day.

3-Work out. (Hahahahaha)

4-Eat hidden potato chips in secret.

5-Watch the Opera FOR FREE ONLINE.

6-Color some super weird pictures.

7-Practice mindfulness when husband paces. Or lock him in the basement.

8-Teach kid that he can’t use the sign “eat” for all forms of communication. Right now he uses it for everything from “please open the door” to “can I take a bath?” It’s confusing for everyone involved.

9-Try my best to help out my community from my house. I don’t know how but I’m gonna try. We all need each other right now.

 See y’all back here tomorrow. I’m going to post a list of things to do AND some resources along with a roundup of my fave Instagram posts and shared portraits.

Stay safe. Stay home. Wash your fucking hands.