Captain’s Log: Covid 19 Social-Distancing Day Four

Yesterday was boring until it wasn’t. We spent the morning trying to come up with a fun way to entertain Leo. Then after his nap was eventful in a bad way. Leo got stung by a rogue bee with a bazooka for an ass.

He was playing next to our living room window and out of nowhere started to cry. I thought that maybe he’d got his toy stuck or he couldn’t get his socks off or he hated the way his ball rolled, ya know, the very nuanced things that really irk a toddler. But as I got closer he started crying really hard which he only does if he’s really hurt. When I leaned down to scoop him up I saw the bee flailing around on the ground and realized that he’d been stung. Only I didn’t know where so I frantically checked his visible skin while yelling “GET UP HERE LEO IS HURT!” to Francesco who is quarantine working from my office that he has completely destroyed. He came running upstairs and he held Leo while I search for the stinger that I finally found on the side of his pointer finger. Usually, you can wipe them off. Not this one. It was huge and jammed really deep. This bee had a big ole ass and a CrossFit core. I finally pulled it out and it left a big gaping hole. And Leo cried and cried and cried and his hand swelled up and I ran outside half undressed and Leo was in a diaper and I was pacing in the driveway and telling my husband to get in the car because he had to go to the doctor and he was like WITH THE OUTBREAK? I took a deep breath and called my sister who is a nurse. And our neighbor ran over and asked what was happening and she looked like she was gonna cry because Leo was crying so hard and then she made fun of us for not using Google and standing outside half-naked and then she asked us to keep her updated and left. My sister was on the phone throughout this and said “watch for wheezing and try to calm him down. Do his favorite thing.” So I put him in a bubble bath and he stopped crying and played.

Bee stings are fucking terrible. They hurt. I’ve been stung at least ten times, running barefoot at my grandmas, trying to pet a bee that landed on my shirt, that time one got trapped in the car with us, another time when my grandpa jokingly offered me five bucks to touch one unknowing that I’d jab at it before he could even say “kidding.” Writing this, I can see that I clearly have a problem avoiding risks.

After L’s bath, he seemed fine but I felt bad for him. And then I did that thing I do where I practically flagellated myself for not seeing the bee before he did. But then I blamed my husband for not putting screens on the doors and I felt good about that (and still do tbh). It was really scary though, to think about healthcare during a pandemic and realize how much we need accessible healthcare and how much we take health for granted.

In other news, our post office worker said she just barely heard about Corona so great job USPS on educating your employees on how to protect themselves. All restaurants and bars in Salt Lake County cannot have patrons inside but they can do delivery or pickup. I’d like a bar to bring me a Quarantini stat. L’s swim lessons were canceled and nearly everyone I know has been asked to work from home. It’s wild but necessary to flatten the curve.

I talked with my stepmom this morning who spent the first five minutes yelling “STOP TALKING” at my dad who was screaming “THE VIRUS IS A HOAX TO COVER UP THE FAILED ECONOMY AND NEW WORLD ORDER” because I told him we would not be coming over (sadly) for the Persian New Year party this weekend. It’s the spring solstice and it’s a big celebration for the Persians. It’s my fave holiday and I’m really sad about this but my dad is diabetic and has a compromised immune system and the last thing I want to do is put him in danger. I wish he would understand. He thinks I’m being an idiot for believing the “deep state.” He’s driving me nuts. And filling me with rage because he won’t keep his indignant ass home. Sigh. Did I mention that I was raised by very sane people?

There is so much great stuff online right now and I’m so proud of how much people are coming together. I wanted to create a roundup post today and things to do but I didn’t finish yet (there’s a lot!). 


Stay safe. Stay home. Wash your fucking hands.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s