Captain’s Log: Covid 19 Social-Distancing Day Five

Captain’s log, day five of social distancing. Nature is trying to kill us and I don’t really blame her. But could we call a truce?

The social distancing is hard enough but this morning to add insult to injury, we also had an earthquake in Utah. A fairly big one. And then another one about five minutes ago. This morning I was in the kitchen getting L’s breakfast ready when the entire house started to shake like crazy. It took me a second to realize it was an earthquake and not a large dump truck slamming into my house. I ran over and grabbed L and held onto him in the kitchen doorway. F tore out of the room and grabbed us. Oliver hid under our legs. It was really scary and we were pretty freaked out. L didn’t even notice and was like “where’s my Goddamn oatmeal?” My phone blew up with texts from family and friends checking in and I called my parents. My mom had gone back to sleep without letting me know she was okay (dick move, mom) but my stepdad answered on my 15th call and assured me that they were fine. My stepmom and dad and siblings were okay, just a little shook up. We filled our bathtub with water in case something happened and the water needed to be turned off. We filled jugs with water. I cuddled L and Oli a lot. It felt like Y2K all over again (young ones, it was a dark time when we didn’t know if computers could count and there were doomsday bunkers).

2020 is a bullshit year and mother nature is trying to kill us. She’s sick of our shit and she’s coming for us. Bad timing, too, since the spring solstice, or Persian New Year, starts today. Or is it perfect timing?


Maybe it’s perfect timing because Nowruz or the Persian New Year is from the Zoroastrian religion, a monotheistic religion from the middle east that dates back around the beginning of Judaism. They believe in one God, but also in the duality of good and evil (although there’s no heaven or hell). It is considered an eco religion as Zoroastrians worship nature and believe the hurting nature is the GREATEST EVIL. We got Coronavirus because we can’t stop being shitty to nature and the earthquake is also probably just her final fuck you. Right? I think so.

Tonight for the kickoff celebration we, Persians, jump over a bonfire to protect our health for the next year. Has there ever been a better time for good health blessings? Even though we can’t celebrate with family and friends like we want, we can celebrate in our yard by ourselves and maybe invite some neighbors over to hop the fire if they promise to stand ten feet apart. I don’t know. It’s been a really rough year already and we’re only three months in, we need all the good luck we can get.

I’ll post some fire pics later tonight and I’m still working on that “to do” roundup. Stay tuned.

Stay safe. Stay home. Wash your fucking hands.

2 thoughts on “Captain’s Log: Covid 19 Social-Distancing Day Five

  1. Shit’s getting a little too real in 2020. Stay safe and enjoy that bonfire! I just bought your book and am looking forward to a bit of humor during this quarantine…

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