The Great Flood

I had to temporarily step away from blogging for a minute. Mainly because my toddler stopped napping for two weeks and has been secretly flushing toys down our toilet and the toilet exploded and rained crap water from the top floor and through a light fixture to the bottom floor. It was…so shitty (ha ha!). Who has ugly cried while plunging crap water while using your leg to block your toddler from “jumping in puuuuuddle.”

And then we found mold in another part of the house and found out that (unrelated) our sewer is bubbling up into a hole in our foundation, and causing black mold. So we’ve been up to our necks in filth and hiring a contractor and getting it sorted.

On the upside, my toddlers vocabulary has doubled and he’s now using phrases like “oh my more water damage” and “There’s mold call JordN.” And also, “Grandpa is a construction worker,” because my stepdad has been coming to help us reframe and Sheetrock the room that has the damage. He sounds like a tiny little home inspector, running around pointing out flaws.

Also because of the pandemic, our 2yo idealizes any human who comes within twenty feet of our home. So he’s been asking me to sing him bedtime songs about water damage, mold, and our contractor. Also he asks me to sing “The song about grandpa the construction worker and the saw and drill.” I have sung “Jordan fixes mold” and detailed how he heroically cut the mold from Sheetrock and removed an old pipe and replaced it and then cemented it in no less than 300 times. And if I miss a tool that he used my son will sit up and tell “MOM! A DRILL!” In my face before lying back down.

I’m still confident that 2021 will be much better than 2020, but so far a little bit of the energy has carried over. Just a bit. On the upside, our guest room is getting totally renovated with recessed lighting, hardwood floors, built in bookcases and a built in wardrobe (which it didn’t have before). It’s been a shit show (zing!) but I’ll take any icing on the cake right now. Another bonus? Seeing my Italian husband dress up to help with the construction work. It looks like he’s wearing a construction worker costume, with his giant work boots and skin-tight cargo pants, and deep V-neck t-shirt. It’s like he’s going to a village people concert every time he heads downstairs.

Also more good news, I’m baaaack on my blogging shit, my Bookbub deal was a total success and I’m absolutely killing it in the book writing department. At least as far as word count goes. It might all be trash but the important thing is it’s 30,000 words of trash. Hooray!

2 thoughts on “The Great Flood

  1. And — also plus-side — you saved yourselves from eventually dying (or whatever the consequences are) of exposure to black mold! Twenty-twenty one is indeed looking up.

    Congrats on the writing, as well. I have been absolutely frozen on two screenplay ideas that I know could be great if I could just hit the right beats. I’ve written so many bad ones that I really want to get this outline right before I begin this time, and… paralysis. Yay.

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