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10 Messages From My Dad: Have You Been Eaten By A Shark?
My dad hasn’t always been a family man. But, in his old age, he’s come to like the idea of being around his kids more than ever. If I don’t call him for a…
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He Shit The Bed
If our poodle, Oliver, was a human child, he’d be the one with the big bottle glasses, standing in the lunch line listing off his allergies to the exhausted lunch ladies. He’s adorable. But,…
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I’d Like to Pay for That Coffee (and never have it)
My Tuesdays are hectic, mainly because they’re actually my Mondays. I find myself waking up and wandering around my house aimlessly for the first twenty minutes that I’m mobile. My dog, Oliver, yawns from…
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My Ovaries Are Too Old, According To My Dad
“You know that when old people have kids, their kids are retarded,” my father said while dicing vegetables. My husband shot me an angry glance, my blood boiled, my father chewed on a carrot.…
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I Could Outrun A Tiger: Panic And Anxiety
Sometimes, my brain is a real asshole and seems to hate me. I’ve had anxious episodes a few times in my life. I suffer from low-grade depression, not always, but often. I’ve had a…
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Trying To Conceive: An OBGYN I’d Probably Marry
In my last blog post, Just Stare Into My Vagina and Tell Me It Will Be Okay, I wrote about how scared I am to have a baby. Or, how scared I am to try…
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Just Stare Into My Vagina And Tell Me It Will Be Okay
My husband and I are in our mid-thirties and approaching that romantic place where we feel like if we’re going to have babies we should probably do it. I’ve held out for a long…
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Weird conversations with my dad
My dad immigrated to the US in 1979 to STEAL AMERICAN JOBS. Just kidding, he actually came here to repopulate the United States with his seed. This dude makes babies like it’s his job…
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m.e. evans 