Who Are You Perverts?

I just went to check the traffic to this blog (because it's new and I'm still tracking things) and I think it's time to possibly change the name of the blog. I originally chose "dirty filthy things," because of an angry comment I got a while about about my colorful language and I thought it…

Step Into My Horror Room

Dear women's clinic where my OBGYN works, I'm not sure if this is horrifying or hilarious. It seems that your phlebotomists have a sense of humor and are also very festive but I'm afraid of needles so it's also a little bit sadistic if you ask me. Sincerely, The woman you stole blood from this…

Pregnancy, Pervert Dreams, And Sex

If pregnancy makes me anything, it's horny. The first trimester was like being transported back to my teenage body where all I thought about was humping whatever crush I had at the time: Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo and Juliet, that one guy at school with the hair. From about 6 weeks pregnant until…

This is What it’s Like to be Pregnant and Afraid

For the first few hours after I found out that I was pregnant, I was super excited. We'd been trying for months and had just started talking with the doctor about fertility help. After all, I'm no spring chicken and there was all that vodka in my twenties and who knows what I'd managed to…

It’s Just Your Bones Breaking (NBD)

Today I had my 24-week appointment with my OBGYN, or more specifically, the PA that works at the women's clinic. She's a charming and warm woman who somehow remembers everything you ever tell her about yourself and makes every part of pregnancy seem magical without making it seem like candy-coated bullshit. We go to the…

4 Podcasts I’m Obsessed with Right Now

The Moth:  "True Stories Told Live." I've been obsessed with The Moth for a while now. Just like their tagline suggests, real people tell true stories on stage. The stories make me laugh out loud, or ugly cry in my car on my way to the office. And last January I competed in a Moth Slam…